THE TOPIC OF RELATIONSHIPS IS VERY BROAD. WHAT'S BEEN ON MY MIND SO MUCH LATELY ARE THE FRIENDSHIPS WE CARRY AND I DID A MAJOR "CLEANUP" A WHILE AGO. I THINK THIS TERM IS FITTING BECAUSE OF THE FACT THAT WITH ANYTHING YOU BALANCE IN HOW YOU CHOOSE TO LIVE WHETHER ANYONE UNDERSTANDS OR NOT.
WITH ALL THE DIFFICULTIES IN LIFE WE SOMETIMES RELY MORE ON OUR FRIENDS THAN EVEN OUR FAMILIES BUT YOUR FAMILY CAN BE JUST THOSE PEOPLE. IN MY CASE IT IS. MY BESTIE AND I TALK ABOUT SO MUCH ABOUT THE VERY TOPICS I WRITE ABOUT BECAUSE WE ARE ALMOST ALWAYS SHARING THE SAME THOUGHT PROCESS WHICH IS CRAZY! WE'RE ONE MONTH APART AND IT SEEMS WE NEARLY HAVE A TWIN MENTALITY. SHE IS MY BFF/MY TRUSTED CONFIDENT/LOYAL FRIEND/AND MY COUSIN-SISTER. I VALUE OUR RELATIONSHIP SO MUCH AND I HOPE I NEVER TAKE IT FOR GRANTED. WITHOUT HER I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO.
FRIENDSHIPS CAN BE CHALLENGING BECAUSE THEY CAN BE AS DEEP AND INVESTED IN AS A MARRIAGE. TRUE FRIENDSHIP IS ONE WHERE YOU FEEL YOU ARE AN EQUAL IN. IT SHOULD NEVER BE BASED ON STATUS OR HOW MUCH MONEY YOU DO OR DO NOT HAVE. THE RELATIONSHIP SHOULD ALWAYS BE A PRIORITY TO BOTH PEOPLE. IF YOU HAVE EVER HAD A FRIEND WHERE YOU HAVE SET TIMES YOU CAN TALK OR ARRANGE TO MEET AROUND THEIR PARTNERS SCHEDULE CAN BE EXTREMELY DIFFICULT TO MAINTAIN AND TO BE FRANK, THESE ARE THE FRIENDSHIPS THAT DO NOT INTEREST ME. I AM NOT IN COMPETITION WITH ANTONE'S OTHER HALF. IN THE PAST I HAVE AND THERE WAS SOME WEIRD JEALOUSY THING. I'M NOT SURE WHAT IT WAS BUT MY "FRIEND" ALWAYS MADE SURE TO TELL ME ALL THE HORRIBLE THINGS HER HUSBAND HAD SAID ABOUT ME. THIS WAS A TEN YEAR FRIENDSHIP AND ONE OF THE THINGS THAT MADE IT SO DIFFICULT WAS THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE INVESTED SO MUCH AND RELATIONSHIPS EVEN FORM WITH THE CHILDREN AND YOU ARE SO INTERTWINED IN THEIR LIVES.
WHEN YOU HAVE A FRIENDSHIP THAT DOESN'T MAKE YOU FEEL WORTHWHILE OR THAT YOU ARE JUST THERE AT THEIR DISPOSAL IT IS NO LONGER A FRIENDSHIP. THIS PERSON BECOMES AN ACQUAINTANCE AND YOU HAVE TO SORT OF BREAKUP AS YOU WOULD IN A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP. WITH MY FRIEND SHE WOULD PUT HER HUSBAND ON SPEAKER PHONE WHEN HE WOULD CALL AND THEN WHEN SHE WOULD TELL HIM WHO SHE WAS WITH I HAD TO LISTEN TO ALL THE VIAL THINGS HE WOULD SAY ABOUT ME. THEN THERE WOULD BE TIMES THAT SHE WAS JUST TOO BUSY TO DO ANYTHING ONLY TO FIND OUT SHE HAD BEEN SPENDING TIME WITH OTHER FRIENDS. IT WASN'T EVEN JEALOUSY BUT WHY LIE? AFTER TRYING TO REASON WITH HER ABOUT MY FEELINGS REGARDING HER HUSBAND AND HOW IT MADE ME FEEL, I FELT THAT I WAS NEVER REALLY HEARD. SHE HAD A MILLION EXCUSES AND I WOULD TRY AND MAKE HER UNDERSTAND IT FROM MY POINT OF VIEW BUT NOTHING CHANGED. WHEN I COMPLETELY STOPPED TALKING WITH HER SHE WOULD WRITE ME THESE EMAILS TELLING ME HOW MUCH SHE MISSED ME AND THAT IF I WAS GOING THROUGH SOMETHING TO JUST CALL HER WHEN I WAS READY. AFTER EXHAUSTING ALL OF MY RESOURCES I WAS TAPPED OUT AND FOR ME THE FRIENDSHIP WAS OVER. I DIDN'T WANT TO BE A JERK ABOUT IT BUT IN MY MIND IT WAS DONE AND IT FELT LIKE THIS HUGE WEIGHT HAD BEEN LIFTED. IT WASN'T EASY FOR A WHILE BECAUSE I NOT ONLY CARED FOR HER BUT I HAD BEEN THERE FOR HER KIDS THROUGH ALL OF HER PREGNANCIES AND ALL THE GOOD & BAD STUFF IN LIFE. BUT THE BREAKUP HAD TO HAPPEN.
WHEN A FRIENDSHIPS ARE SO MUCH WORK AND YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO TRULY VALUES IT THEN IT MIGHT NOT BE THE HEALTHIEST THING TO HAVE IN YOUR LIFE. I NEVER WANT TO BE A BOTHER TO ANYONE AND IF IT'S THAT DIFFICULT FOR THAT PERSON TO MAKE ANY TIME FOR ME IN THEIR LIFE OR UNDERSTAND HOW I LIVE MINE THEN IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON.
A GENUINE CARE AND LOYALTY IN A FRIENDSHIP IS ONE THAT YOU CAN RELY ON NO MATTER WHAT. FOR ME PERSONALLY FRIENDSHIPS ARE TRICKY BECAUSE I HAVE SO MANY TRUST ISSUES, ESPECIALLY WITH WOMEN. MY LIFE IS NAVIGATED BOTH BY CHOICE AND BY CIRCUMSTANCE. I FEEL SOMETIMES LIKE I'M NOT THE GREATEST FRIEND BECAUSE OF MY HEALTH. YOUR TRUE FRIENDS KNOW YOU. THEY KNOW YOUR HEART, THEY UNDERSTAND YOUR LIFE WITHOUT GOING INTO SOME BIG EXPLANATION, AND THEY ARE THERE FOR YOU WITHOUT CONDITIONS.
NO FRIENDSHIP IS PERFECT. THERE WILL BE MISUNDERSTANDINGS AT TIMES OR YOU MIGHT BE AN OFF MOOD AND SOMETHING THEY SAY MIGHT IRRITATE FOR ONE REASON OR ANOTHER - BUT THAT'S OK. IT'S NORMAL AND IT'S HEALTHY. TO BE ABLE TO WEATHER THE MORE UNPLEASANT TIMES IS A REAL TESTAMENT TO THE FRIENDSHIP AND DEFINITELY ONE TO HOLD ON TO AND KEEP INVESTING IN. YES THERE MAY BE BUSY SCHEDULES AND OF COURSE IF YOU DO HAVE A FRIEND WHO IS IN A RELATIONSHIP YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER TO BE CONSIDERATE AND THOUGHTFUL ABOUT THAT TOO.
LIFE IS JUST TOO SHORT TO FEEL BAD ABOUT A FRIEND WHO DOESN'T MAKE YOU FEEL IMPORTANT ENOUGH. IT IS SO EASY TO GET CAUGHT UP IN WHAT BECOMES THE NORM IN THAT RELATIONSHIP THAT IS CAUSING YOU HURT AND DAMAGES THE SHRED OF FRIENDSHIP YOU ARE CLINGING TO. IT'S NOT SO SIMPLE TO DO BUT SOMETIMES IT IS JUST TIME TO MOVE ON.....WITHOUT THEM.
FRIENDSHIPS ARE ABOUT QUALITY NOT QUANTITY. SOMEONE WHO KNOWS YOUR HEART AND CAN BE THERE FOR YOU WITHOUT FEELING LIKE YOU HAVE TO WALK ON EGGSHELLS. CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDSHIPS JUST AS YOU WOULD WITH YOUR OTHER RELATIONSHIPS. WOULD YOU PUT UP WITH A PERSON WHO MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE ANNOYING THEM BECAUSE YOU CALLED AND INTERRUPTED SOMETHING OR THAT BLOWS YOU OFF AND JUST WON'T MEET YOU IN THE MIDDLE? MOST OF US WOULDN'T SO WHY WOULD FRIENDS BE THE EXCEPTION TO THIS? WHEN IT'S ALL SAID AND DONE DO YOU WANT TO WORK SO HARD AT SOMETHING THAT ADDS NOTHING TO YOUR LIFE AT ALL? JUST REMEMBER - QUALITY, NOT QUANTITY. YOU NEVER HAVE TO "SETTLE" IN YOUR FRIENDSHIPS JUST LIKE YOU NEVER HAVE TO SETTLE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS. BE WITH PEOPLE WHO BUILD YOU UP AND DON'T JUDGE YOU FOR YOUR PAST OR FOR CHOICES YOU MAKE THAT THEY DON'T AGREE WITH. WHEN HARD TIMES COME AND AFTER THE SMOKE CLEARS YOU WILL ALWAYS SEE YOUR FRIENDS FOR WHO THEY ARE AND THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW WHO YOUR REAL FRIENDS ARE.......AND WHEN YOU FIND THAT OUT YOU WILL KNOW WHETHER OR NOT IT'S TIME TO DO SOME CLEANUP AND RID YOURSELF OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO BRING NOTHING BUT STRESS AND INSECURITIES TO YOUR LIFE.
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