HOW DO YOU LOOK AT YOURSELF?

How do you look at yourself?  Seems like something you would have a very simple answer to but is that realistic?  We all have an idea of who we really are but how we view ourselves can be complex.
I will be the first in saying that I can let most things roll off my back but let's face it, we look at ourselves as though we are others looking at us.  Our view or opinions of ourselves are based so much on how we desire to be looked at in a particular way.  You want to be a friend to everyone - which is absolutely impossible.  That isn't even a pessimistic way to look at it....it is a realistic thing.  If you think you can please everyone all the time you will end up not pleasing the one person that should matter most - YOU.
When I look at myself I don't see this young skinny minnie girl with perfect skin and great style.  I see myself as a person who could always use a little work in every department of my life.  Being me can be a complex job.  Just ask my Mom!  It's funny as you get older how much things change.  Yes - you do have a certain amount of the same ideals as far as finding a nice partner, someone kind, nice looking, has a car & a home.  Those are pretty typical things. 
I've said it before but growing up I wasn't a person who had much self worth and I felt anything bad that happened I must have deserved.  That isn't true at all. Do I believe in Karma? Absolutely.  One day we all have to meet our maker and the expectations I have in myself have changed for the better.  I do value who I am.  Have I allowed people to take me for granted?  Yes I have.  But- this wasn't due to a lack of my own self worth.  I don't look at myself as being someone who looks down at anyone.  I'm more than entitled to have an opinion, especially when it somehow ties into my life.  It's hard not to judge people for whatever reason.  For me it's not because I am so above them.  It's like the saying goes "opinions are like assholes and everyone has one" - terrible expression but too true! 
My learning everything the hard way is not something I enjoy.  In fact I wish I wasn't one of those people.  I don't want to be a person who takes another persons word as "THE WORD" so I would rather find out on my own.  Whether I learn the hard way or not I need to find these things out personally rather than by the experience of someone else.  This also goes in part with finding your truth.  It's fair to make a judgement call based on your personal experience but why is it people seem to never learn?  My Mom gave me a really valuable piece of advise.  After beating myself up so badly over poor choices and mistakes I had made she told me that it is human to make mistakes but learning from them and not repeating them is key.  I believe that is true and she has taught me many words to live by. 
How do you look at who you are?  If you are trying to live your life through the eyes of someone else you will never live and really experience life.  We have to live the good and the bad to become the people we are meant to be.  These are life lessons.  No college can teach you what you need to learn or prepare you for the hurts you may experience in the future so why should anyone dictate your life other than you?  It doesn't work to constantly second guess yourself.  At the age I am I always think "oh I know this answer" but I really don't.  No two situations are ever the same so how can one situation have the same outcome every time. 
Maybe I'm completely off the trail of what I'm trying to say here but this wouldn't be the first time.  I have already said I think way too much and sometimes one thought leads into a hundred more.  This question is very important to know the answer to.  This answer is one that navigates the way you live, how you think, and the way you form relationships.  Looking at yourself isn't even a time factor.  You can be a child or an adult and you always have a right to this question. 
It all comes down to how we value our own thoughts and feelings, not those of someone you want to like or respect you.  This leads me to one final thought and if you know where it came from then you will know a little more about me.  This is one of a couple quotes (outside of my Mom) that I truly live by and this is my final end to this message:

"IT'S BETTER TO BE HATED FOR WHAT YOU ARE, THAN TO BE LOVED FOR WHAT YOU ARE NOT" .......