HAVE YOU EVER FELT OVERWHELMED AND JUST TIRED OF LIFE BEING SO CHAOTIC WHEN OTHERS ARE SO "DISCIPLINED" IN THE WAY THEY LIVE? DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE YOU ARE LOOKED DOWN ON FOR NOT HAVING "CONTROL" IN YOUR OWN LIFE? THE TRUTH OF IT ALL IS THAT LOOKS CAN BE VERY DECEIVING.
WHEN YOU HAVE FRIENDS OR PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE WHO HAVE THEIR CHILDREN GOING TO BED EVERY NIGHT AT THE SAME TIME, THREE MEALS A DAY (AT THE DINNER TABLE....UNLESS THEY ARE IN SCHOOL), AND DO YOU EVER WORRY ABOUT THE WAY PEOPLE VIEW YOU? IT'S TIME THE TRUTH BE TOLD.....
THE REALITY OF LIFE IS THAT IT IS MESSY AND UNSCHEDULED. HOW CAN YOU ORGANIZE WHAT WASN'T EVEN PLANNED? I HAVE ALWAYS FELT THAT IT IS NEXT TO IMPOSSIBLE TO LIVE THIS SO-CALLED PERFECT LIFE. OUR LIVES CAN BE MESSY AND DIFFICULT WITH SO MANY TWISTS AND TURNS. WITH MY OWN CHILD SLEEP HAS ALWAYS BEEN AN ISSUE - JUST AS IT HAS BEEN FOR ME. IT WOULD BE GREAT TO HAVE A BEDTIME THAT WAS FOLLOWED BUT WHEN YOUR BRAIN WILL NOT TURN OFF ENOUGH TO LET YOU RELAX THEN SLEEP IS ALWAYS SECONDARY. YOU CAN'T JUST LET YOUR CHILDREN NAVIGATE THEIR OWN LIVES OR THEY WOULD BE EATING CANDY ALL DAY LONG AND DRIVING THE CAR. SOUND RIDICULOUS, RIGHT? THAT'S BECAUSE IT IS - AND THAT IS BECAUSE THE REALITY IN WHICH WE LIVE CAN'T BE AS STRUCTURED AS WE ALL HOPE. HOWEVER, THERE IS NO SHAME IN ANY OF IT.
AT ONE POINT IN MY LIFE I WAS WORKING TWO LITTLE JOBS, GOING TO SCHOOL FULL TIME AND WAS A SINGLE PARENT. ONE NIGHT I HAD BEEN WORKING ON A PAPER SO LATE AND AROUND MIDNIGHT THERE IS THIS PERSON AT THE DOOR WITH A CHILD TRYING TO FIND ME. IT ENDED UP THAT A FAMILY MEMBER WE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WAS TOO OVERWHELMED (TOO SELFISH TO BE A PARENT) TO TAKE CARE OF HER CHILD SO SHE LEFT HER WITH US. THIS LITTLE GIRL DIDN'T KNOW US AND DIDN'T UNDERSTAND ANY OF WHAT WAS GOING ON. HERE I WAS DOING THE BEST I COULD IN RAISING MY OWN CHILD AND TRYING TO HAVE SOME SORT OF STRUCTURED LIFE FOR US AND SUDDENLY I AM STRUCK WITH THIS NEW RESPONSIBILITY OF TAKING IN A CHILD WHO WAS SCARED AND DID NOT KNOW ME.
RATHER THAN PANICKING OR BEING UPSET - I CHOSE TO DEAL WITH IT.
SHE CAME WITH NOTHING OTHER THAN THE UNDERWEAR SHE HAD ON AND AN ADULT T-SHIRT WHICH I GUESS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SLEEP SHIRT??? THE NEXT MORNING I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO WAKE UP AND THIS WAS NOTHING BUT A DREAM I HAD BUT IT WASN'T. IT WAS REALITY AND I NEEDED TO STEP UP AND TAKE CONTROL OF THE SITUATION. THIS LITTLE GIRLS TEETH WERE SO BAD FROM BEING LAID DOWN MOST OF THE TIME AS A BABY WHILE DRINKING A BOTTLE FULL OF JUICE THAT HAD BEGAN ROTTING HER YOUNG TEETH. SO FIRST THING FIRST - TOOTHBRUSH & TOOTHPASTE. SHE HAD DIFFICULT HAIR TO WORK WITH SO YET ANOTHER OBSTACLE OF FINDING THE RIGHT PRODUCTS TO BE ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF HER HAIR. THEN IT WAS CLOTHES, UNDERGARMENTS, AND FOOD. PRETTY SOON WE HAD A NEW CHILD. SHE WAS SO HAPPY TO TAKE A BUBBLE BATH AND BRUSH HER TEETH WITH HER NEW SCOOBY DOO TOOTH BRUSH AND LOVED HER NEW HAIR PRODUCTS AND ACCESSORIES THAT MADE HER FEEL AS PRETTY AS SHE WAS. SHE WAS CLEAN, WELL DRESSED, AND WELL CARED FOR. WHEN WAS HER MOM COMING BACK? HOW LONG WOULD WE HAVE HER? NO IDEA!!!
PRETTY SOON MY FAMILY WAS INVOLVED WITH HER AND WELCOMED HER - ONE OF MY MOM'S CUSTOMERS EVEN MADE HER A TEDDY BEAR. FOR THE FIRST TIME THIS 4-YEAR OLD CHILD FELT LOVE.
WE WOULD GO TO THE PARK OR THE LIBRARY - MAYBE EVEN THE DOLLAR STORE TO PICK OUT PRIZES....IT WAS BEGINNING TO FEEL LIKE THIS WAS HOW IT WAS GOING TO BE AND THAT WAS MORE THAN OK WITH ME.
THINGS WERE WORKING OUT AND THEN JUST AS ABRUPTLY AS SHE WAS DROPPED OFF AT MY FRONT DOOR AT MIDNIGHT MONTHS BEFORE - SHE WAS THEN ABRUPTLY TAKEN WHEN HER MOM DECIDED SHE WAS TOO COMFORTABLE HERE. LIFE CHANGED FOR US AGAIN. WE HAVE NEVER SEEN HER SINCE.
THERE WAS NO WAY WE COULD HAVE KNOWN THAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN. HOW COULD SHE BE ON ANY SCHEDULE WHEN LIFE HAD BEEN SO CRUEL TO HER? YOU CAN'T EVER PREPARE FOR THINGS LIKE THIS BUT WHEN YOU ARE SUDDENLY STRUCK WITH THE UNFAMILIAR YOU JUST DO WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT IT.
FOR ME STRUCTURE IS MAKING SURE YOUR CHILDREN EAT WHEN THEY ARE HUNGRY. DO YOU HAVE TO HAVE EVERY MEAL AT THE TABLE AT A CERTAIN TIME WITH YOUR FAMILY? ABSOLUTELY NOT. THAT ISN'T EVEN REALISTIC. WHEN YOU HAVE BLENDED FAMILIES OR JUST A LOT GOING ON WITHIN YOUR LIFE YOU HAVE TO ROLL WITH IT ANY WHICH WAY IT GOES. YOU MAY HAVE ONE CHILD GOING TO SOCCER WHILE THE OTHER GOES TO DANCE SO HOW CAN EVERYTHING GO IN A STRICT AND STRUCTURED WAY? IT CAN'T. YOU MAY HAVE TO GRAB FOOD TO GO AND EAT ON THE WAY. THEN THE NEXT STOP IS PICKING UP THE OTHER AND ON THE WAY HOME YOU STOP AT YOUR FRIENDS HOUSE TO PICK UP THEIR KIDS SO THAT THEY CAN GO TO WORK. AT THIS POINT YOU ARE WORN OUT! YOU STILL HAVE TO FIX DINNER FOR THE REST OF THE GANG AND SOME LIKE TOP RAMEN WHILE THE OTHER WILL ONLY EAT PEANUT BUTTER ON WHITE BREAD AND YOU FIND YOURSELF TRYING TO ACCOMMODATE EVERYONE AND NO ONE IS EATING AT THE SAME TIME BECAUSE YOU ARE TENDING TO EVERYONE IN A DIFFERENT WAY. IS THAT ANYTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF OR IS IT SOMETHING TO BE PROUD OF? TO BE ABLE TO TAKE ON SO MUCH AND TO STILL MAINTAIN IN LIFE IS A TRIUMPH TO BE COMPLETELY RESPECTED FOR. THESE ARE THE SITUATIONS THAT MAKE LIFE FUN OR VERY TRYING BUT IN THE END IF YOU CAN SOMEHOW MANAGE IT THEN YOU ARE GOING ABOVE AND BEYOND.
SO FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO FEEL YOU ARE NOT AN EQUAL TO YOUR FRIENDS WHO ARE SO VERY STRUCTURED AND DISCIPLINED IN THEIR LIVES YOU AREN'T. YOU PUT OTHERS BEFORE YOURSELF AND HELP ANYONE YOU CAN WHEN DUTY CALLS. SPEAKING ONLY FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, NOT PUTTING ANYONE DOWN, BUT THE PEOPLE I KNOW WHO ARE SO "PERFECT" IN HOW THEY NAVIGATE THEIR LIVES ARE ALMOST ALWAYS VERY SELFISH PEOPLE WHICH IS WHY THEY CAN BE SO STRUCTURED. AND THAT'S OK. BUT FOR THE PEOPLE WHO ARE DOING SO MUCH AND ARE SO GIVING OF THEMSELVES - TO ME THAT IS EXCEPTIONAL AND SOMETHING TO BE VERY PROUD OF.
THIS EXTRAORDINARY QUALITY TO MULTI-TASK AND LIVE YOUR LIFE AS IT COMES IS A QUALITY THAT WEARS ME OUT THINKING ABOUT IT BUT I WOULD HAVE TO GIVE THIS HONORABLE TITLE TO MY BEST FRIEND & COUSIN (BUT TO ME IS MY SISTER)....
I HAVE NEVER MET ANYONE QUITE LIKE HER. WHEN I GO TO VISIT THERE ARE KIDS RUNNING IN AND OUT AND WANTING SOMETHING TO EAT OR DRINK AND WITHOUT HESITATION SHE IS SO WELCOMING. HER LIFE MAKES ME TIRED JUST THINKING ABOUT IT - GOING TO SCHOOL FULL TIME, RAISING FOUR CHILDREN, MAKING A HOME FOR HER HUSBAND AND FAMILY & ALWAYS.....I MEAN ALWAYS HELPING OUT ANYTIME FOR ANYONE NO MATTER HOW TIRED SHE IS OR HOW MUCH HOMEWORK SHE HAS. SHE IS TAKING KIDS HOME, BABYSITTING, FEEDING NEIGHBOR KIDS WHEN THEIR PARENTS AREN'T AROUND - I DON'T KNOW HOW SHE DOES IT BUT I AM IN COMPLETE AWE OF HER. WHAT AN AMAZING PERSON TO HAVE IN YOUR LIFE. IF THERE WERE MORE PEOPLE LIKE HER IN THE WORLD WE COULD ONLY BE SO LUCKY. SHE IS A FRIEND TO ALL, A CONFIDANT WHEN NEEDED, AN ADULT THAT KIDS CAN TALK TO WHEN THEY CAN'T TALK TO ANYONE ELSE AND KNOW THEY WILL BE LISTENED TO WITHOUT JUDGEMENT, AND UNCONDITIONAL LOVE THAT IS OF THE RAREST KIND.
THIS IS DEDICATED TO MY SISTER SASKERS. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND ADMIRE YOU FOR YOUR GOALS THAT YOU HAVE HAD TO FIGHT SO HARD FOR AND HAVE ACHIEVED. YOU ARE A TRULY REMARKABLE WOMAN AND SOMEONE I COULD NOT LIVE MY LIFE WITHOUT!
YOU ARE THE EXAMPLE THAT SO MANY PEOPLE COULD NEVER BE SO SELFLESS TO BE.....
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